4. Marriage Devotional: Respecting A Respectful Husband

Marriage Devotional: Respecting A Respectful Husband

Author: Barbara Rainey

Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife 

even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33).

    Unfortunately, some men hear only Paul's words about women being submissive and take this as license to be domineering. It's impossible for a wife to submit to a man who doesn't respect her needs as a woman.

    Every husband needs a wife who respects him. That means she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him and esteems him. From a negative point of view, not respecting your husband means to be insulting, critical, nonsupportive or passive towards him and his needs.

    One way to respect your husband is to consider and understand the weight of his responsibilities as a servant/leader in the home. It is easy to look at your husband and see what is wrong instead of right. As someone once said, "Faults are like the headlights of your car, those of others seem more glaring."

Your husband needs unconditional acceptance—faults and all. As a Kenny Roger’s song puts it:

    She believes in me.

    I don't know just what she sees in me,

    But she believes in me.

    One way to communicate respect to your husband is to accept his schedule. For example, in past years I had to learn to be content with a schedule that found us packing up and leaving for most of the summer for Dennis's teaching assignments, conferences and meetings. We also had to learn how to live a great deal of time out of a suitcase and even out of the car.

    When it gets to be too much, I tell Dennis and we make adjustments. Yes, my husband's schedule is important to me. I choose to be a part of what he does, to watch and help, and to be available to him. And I know by choosing to support Dennis in these ways, I am actually showing him respect.

Discuss:

Ask your husband when he has felt most respected by you. Ask him why.

Pray:

As a wife, ask God to grant you a better understanding of your husband's needs 

so that you will be able to know how to express your respect of him.

10. Marriage Devotional: Toward a New Breed of Men

Marriage Devotional: Toward a New Breed of Men

Author: Dennis Rainey

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

    Why do Fortune 500 companies pay such huge salaries to their top executives? Because they know that leadership makes a difference. As a husband and father, your leadership will make a difference in your family. Oh, your wife and children may survive from day to day, but are they heading anywhere? Are they growing in Christlike character? Are they focusing on what is important?

    There is no question why so many marriages and families are in trouble. Too many men are functioning only as material providers. We need a new breed of men who can appreciate and expend energy, time and—most importantly—focused attention on the spiritual aspect of family life.

    We need a new breed of men who have the ability to focus on the unseen—the eternal—as well as the seen. Men who will say no to more bucks when it means sacrificing their families. A new breed who will ask, with every decision they make: "How will this affect the relationships within my family?"

    We need a new breed of men who will recognize they need to leave something to posterity that will outlive the financial inheritances they may leave for their children: proven character. . .a new breed of men who realize that to succeed in the eyes of men but fail in the eyes of God is the ultimate failure.

    One man has said, "It is better to fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail."

    Will you take upon yourself the challenge Albert Einstein gave a group of young scientists? While addressing this highly motivated group of young men, he said, "Gentlemen, try not to become men of success. But rather, try to become men of value."

Discuss:

    What material things do you hope to leave to your children? What specific spiritual values do you hope to instill in them? Which of these "keepsakes" is more important?

Pray:

    Imagine your children as grown and established in their own families. Pray for what each one will become.

1. Marriage Devotional: Spiritual Headship

Marriage Devotional: Spiritual Headship

Author: H. Norman Wright

Husbands, love your wives Just as Christ loved the church and 

gave Himself up for her to make her holy (Ephesians 5:25,26).

    By being the spiritual leader in the home, a husband indicates his concern for his wife‵s spiritual welfare and continual growth. Once again the pattern of Jesus must be considered. He died to take away the sin of each person in the world. He loved the church and gave Himself for it. This model of Christ’s love for the church reaches down into the life of every husband. A husband and father doesn‵t save his family. Only Christ does that. But God holds every husband accountable for the spiritual welfare and atmosphere of the home. The many ingredients and responsibilities of the husband include

• a personal prayer life;
• interaction, reading, and understanding of the Scriptures;
• participation in the local church worship service;
• modeling the proper use of time for his family;
• encouraging his wife to grow in the Scriptures and become involved with other women, taking time out for Bible study groups or weekend conferences that may help her develop spiritual leadership. This also entails providing the funds for this to occur, along with a willing attitude to care for the kids for an entire weekend while she attends the meetings! This is real sacrifice!
• developing spiritual intimacy with his wife. This is a major responsibility, and it means reading the Word together, sharing meaningful spiritual thoughts and experiences, praying together, and letting his wife know that he is praying for her.

    This is spiritual leadership. And the blessings benefit both of you. No one said it was easy, but it is worth your time and effort. Let God guide you in this.

4. Marriage Devotional: Giving Love

Marriage Devotional: Giving Love

Author: Gary Chapman

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in 

honoring each other. (Romans 12:10)

    The desire for romantic love is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup. Almost every popular magazine has at least one article on keeping love alive. So why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to a lasting love after the wedding? I‵m convinced it‵s because we concentrate on "getting love" rather than "giving love."

    As long as you focus on what your spouse should be doing for you, you‵ll come across as condemning and critical. How about a different approaching that says, "What can I do to help you? How can I make your life easier? How can I be a better spouse?" In Romans 12, Paul writes that when we love each other, we should "take delight in honoring each other." Giving to the one we love does not have to be a chore; if our affection is genuine, giving and serving can be a joy. Giving love will keep your relationship alive.

    Father, help me to concentrate on giving love today. May I focus less on what my spouse can give me, and more on what I can give to him or her. Thanks for being the ultimate example of selfless, giving love.

4. Marriage Devotional: The Fullness in Christ

Marriage Devotional: The Fullness in Christ

Author: H. Norman Wright

My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19, NASB).

    Some businesses today operate from a deficit position rather than a surplus. Some individuals and some marriages operate the same way. These people feel empty, isolated, lonely, inadequate, and helpless. Many people go through life with important needs unmet. Some go through marriage

in the same way.

    Aside from your physical needs, do you know what your basic needs are? You need: security; love and belonging (being wanted, cared about, listened to, accepted, understood); self-esteem (receiving attention, respect, significance, value); and fulfillment of your potential of giftedness.

    You and your spouse probably look to each other to meet some of these needs, and rightly so. But your partner cannot meet all your needs. God is the only one who can. He is the primary source for meeting your physical needs for food and shelter (Matthew 6:26,27). He meets your need for security and love (Romans 5:8; 8:35,38,39). God meets your need for significance or purpose (Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 1:21).

    The more you believe these verses, the more you will be able to fulfill your potential and giftedness. In reality, you don‵t ever have to operate from a deficit. Because of what God has done for you and said about you, you can respond to yourself, your partner, others, and to life itself out of a sense of fullness. You are not deficient when you know Christ. Neither is your partner. Experience His resources. Use them. Enjoy them. Express your fullness to your partner and to the world!

3. Marriage Devotional: Marriage, Commitment for Life

Marriage Devotional: Marriage, Commitment for Life

Author: Warren W. Wiersbe (1929-2019)

    It is God's will that the marriage union be permanent, a lifetime commitment. There is no place in Christian marriage for a “trial marriage”, nor is there any room for the “escape-hatch” attitude: “If the marriage doesn't work, we can always get a divorce”.

    For this reason, marriage must be built on something sturdier than good looks, money, romantic excitement, and social acceptance. There must be Christian commitment, character, and maturity. There must be a willingness to grow, to learn from each other, to forgive and forget, to minister to one another. The kind of love Paul described in 1 Corinthians 13 is what is needed to cement two lives together.

    God has put “walls” around marriage, not to make it a prison, but to make it a safe fortress. The person who considers marriage a prison should not get married. When two people are lovingly and joyfully committed to each other - and to their Lord - the experience of marriage is one of enrichment and enlargement. They grow together and discover the richness of serving the Lord as a team in their home and church.

Read: Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-3.

Action assignment: Ask God to help you toward a greater grasp of the biblical view of marriage and not let your philosophy be tainted by the modern, worldly view.