1. Parenting Devotional: Where are the men?

Parenting Devotional: Where are the men?

Author: Dennis Rainey

Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

    As he grows up, a boy needs at least one man who will pay attention to him. A man who spends time with him, teaches him, admonishes him, encourages him. If he can‵t find that in a father, a boy needs another man he can look up to—a mentor.

    What’s become of the fathers, the mentors? Well, I can tell you where they‵re not. They‵re not in the PTA meetings or the piano recitals. They‵re not teaching Sunday School. They‵re not at the pediatrician’s office holding a sick child. You will see a lot of women there. A dozen grandmothers. But you won‵t see as many men or fathers.

    Your sons and the sons in your neighborhood need godly men—men who will sharpen them to be God’s best—to mentor and show them the way to righteousness. You may be the only godly man or father your neighborhood kids have. But what does a godly mentor do?

    He does not bend to selfishness. He doesn‵t let it be his master. He’s got a higher calling than just giving in to what self wants.

    He says yes to the next generation of leaders. He calls his Christian brother up and says, "Come on, don‵t just unplug when you come home. Reject passivity. Get involved. Be the spiritual leader. Take the initiative in your home."

    Boys need Christian men who will be there for them and will cover for absentee fathers—men who aren‵t afraid to be the Little League coaches, the Boy Scout leaders, the big brothers and the school teachers. Men who will share their love, wisdom, skills and time. Men need to give time to help with homework, baths, laundry and grocery shopping. Time to read to children, drive them to ballet and cheer at their soccer games.

    What will your son or daughter remember most about you as a dad? Your gifts, toys and trinkets, or your life unashamedly connected to his or hers?

Discuss:

    What do you remember most about your dad? Evaluate your involvement with your family and other kids in whose lives you have an influence. Set one goal for this week to be a better mentor.

Pray:

    That God would give you the strength to make some difficult choices to make your family a priority over your work and hobbies.

2. Parenting Devotional: Good Parenting

Parenting Devotional: Good Parenting

Author: H. Norman Wright

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent] and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6, AMP).

    There are so many books about parenting. We hear about permissive, restrictive, neglectful, and authoritarian styles. Which is best? What are parents to do? Here are some answers from Jack and Judith Balswick:

    While some parenting styles encourage growth and are empowering, others hinder or block growth either by fostering dependency or by expecting self-reliance prematurely.

    Early attempts to understand parenting styles made a distinction between permissive versus restrictive parenting. Proponents of the permissive style, while not rejecting the need for discipline, stressed that a child‵s greatest need is for warmth and security. Those holding to the restrictive style, while not rejecting parental affection, emphasized that a child‵s greatest need is for discipline, responsibility and self-control.

    In hundreds of studies done on parenting styles over the last thirty years, two factors—parental control and parental support—have emerged as the most important elements in good parenting. The term parental control means that you, as a parent, actively provide guidelines, set limits, direct and redirect your child‵s behavior in some desired direction. The term parental support refers to the affirmation, encouragement, and general support that you give to assure your children that they are accepted and cared for.

    Some parents are great at teaching right behavior but not so good at following through in their own lives. In effect they tell their children, "Do as I say not as I do." Children will understandably feel resentful when parents fail to live by the standards they preach. Children recognize the incongruence and may be disrespectful or rebellious when parents make demands.

    On the other hand, parents who model right behavior but never provide explanations and good reasons for the values and beliefs they hold are also lacking appropriate skills. It is important that parents guide, equip, and empower their children by taking time to give the whys of the behavior they expect from them. It’s balance we‵re looking for, perhaps best described as a disciplining role.

    What type of parent are you?