2. Parenting Devotional: Good Parenting

Parenting Devotional: Good Parenting

Author: H. Norman Wright

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent] and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6, AMP).

    There are so many books about parenting. We hear about permissive, restrictive, neglectful, and authoritarian styles. Which is best? What are parents to do? Here are some answers from Jack and Judith Balswick:

    While some parenting styles encourage growth and are empowering, others hinder or block growth either by fostering dependency or by expecting self-reliance prematurely.

    Early attempts to understand parenting styles made a distinction between permissive versus restrictive parenting. Proponents of the permissive style, while not rejecting the need for discipline, stressed that a child‵s greatest need is for warmth and security. Those holding to the restrictive style, while not rejecting parental affection, emphasized that a child‵s greatest need is for discipline, responsibility and self-control.

    In hundreds of studies done on parenting styles over the last thirty years, two factors—parental control and parental support—have emerged as the most important elements in good parenting. The term parental control means that you, as a parent, actively provide guidelines, set limits, direct and redirect your child‵s behavior in some desired direction. The term parental support refers to the affirmation, encouragement, and general support that you give to assure your children that they are accepted and cared for.

    Some parents are great at teaching right behavior but not so good at following through in their own lives. In effect they tell their children, "Do as I say not as I do." Children will understandably feel resentful when parents fail to live by the standards they preach. Children recognize the incongruence and may be disrespectful or rebellious when parents make demands.

    On the other hand, parents who model right behavior but never provide explanations and good reasons for the values and beliefs they hold are also lacking appropriate skills. It is important that parents guide, equip, and empower their children by taking time to give the whys of the behavior they expect from them. It’s balance we‵re looking for, perhaps best described as a disciplining role.

    What type of parent are you?